So I have come full circle. 12 years ago.... after a few months of "marriage" indoctrined by religion and State LAW...and the cheering of blind family members that encourage the repression through marital laws as would KEEP FAMILY HONOUR.
I then decided that my physical-sexual desires had NOTHING to do with love. or honour. or marriage.
I then satisfied them elsewhere.....with precautions, as much safety as possible..IS IT safer than eating red meat, smoking, or drinking??
and so, for many many years I kept all separate from home life, the white picket fences....much furtive quenching of erotic thoughts and desires....all the while maintaining the wholesome "mother and goodwife" appearance...
and So....., 12 years later....by some twist of fate, an innocent? yet sexually hungry parent stumbles upon a two year old blog I had posted about the origins of my own twisted sexual desires at the onset of puberty ( involving Heavy metal Comics and the like..not to mention an extremely repressed upbringing) and so.. it begins.
so ..I am presented with a needy soul...and yet the responsibility of ensuring selfishness of this repressed sexual male does not destroy a happy mother-father-son family......
ooh the insanity! no, its a delusion of safety...no such thing in reality.
maybe I'll go have a drink .
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